Unfortunate Surprises

For the past 10 months I have had a numbness sensation over my left arm.  Sometimes it is worse than others, but it never goes completely away.  One Saturday morning as I was walking home from the farmer’s market, the feeling got very intense.  In fact the numbness turned into a burning feeling and continued to escalate as each moment passed.  After about 3 minutes my left hand started uncontrollably convulsing, turning in on itself.  This last a long minute or two, then as the convulsing stopped the burning slowly went away too.

I called my doctor who was not 100% sure what caused it, but reminded me that I was supposed to be taking Keppra twice a day.  Keppra is an anti-seizure drug that they put me on as soon as I was diagnosed with brain cancer.  I stopped taking it because in my opinion the side effects were worse than the chance of a seizure.  At Doctor Nick’s suggestion, I did start back on the Keppra and within hours remembered how horrible that stuff made me feel.  I tried to stick it out, but once again decided to take my chances without the meds.  A month later I had another incident with my hand that was exactly like the previous one.  It was almost time for my next MRI, always a nail biting time, and never more than this one.  Could these incidents be caused from the forming of a new tumor?

Still From The Movie "Dune" Of Paul's Hand In The "Box"

MRI results looked good, so the worries were put at ease.  Another 6 weeks went by uneventfully.  Then one morning I became aware of that dreaded feeling setting in on my arm.  I called Rhonda over who was thankfully home.  I told her it was happening again.   I laid on the couch as the pain escalated, then the convulsions started.  After a minute or two things were only getting worse, my hand felt like it was in the Bene Gesserit’s “Box” from Dune.  Finally, my whole left arm contorted inhumanly over my head.  I told Rhonda to watch out because I couldn’t control it, and did not want to hit her. 

About 30 minutes later I started hearing voices.  Rhonda was talking to a paramedic.  We were all in the back of an ambulance on our way to the hospital.  I heard them say something about cancer.  I was still very confused. Were they talking about me?  I thought I might have cancer, but maybe it had all been a bad dream.  I looked at Rhonda and asked “Do I have cancer?”  Before she could answer, I remembered and stated, “Oh yeah, I have brain cancer.”

Some Doctors Liken Seizures To An Electrical Storm In The Brain

During the previous 30 minutes that I consciously lost, Rhonda witnessed me having a Grand Mall seizure.  During that time I was twitching, convulsing, moaning and I even appeared to stop breathing for a moment.  Never having seen a seizure, Rhonda thought that she was watching something far worse, possibly me dying.  Shortly after the seizing stopped, I opened my eyes.  At that point I was in a postictal sleep where I had amnesia like symptoms (not uncommon after a Grand Mall seizure).  I can only imagine what Rhonda was going through with me laying there “lights on, but nobody home”.

Fist Full Of Seizure Meds That Look Like Easter Basket Treats

After a few tests in the ER, I was sent home.  I have had two more seizures since then, as we try to find the right combination and dose of meds high enough to keep the seizures away, but not so high that I turn into an extra from “The Walking Dead”.

I still hate the seizure meds, but I guess the negative feelings of the meds are better than the paranoia of another seizure creeping up on me. 

Oh, and did I mention, cancer SUCKS!