The Etymology of Love

“Love, love is a verb.  Love is a doing word.”   Teardrop by Massive Attack

Danalisa at the Museo di Leonardo

Since Dan was diagnosed with brain cancer, we have been forced to look at life differently.  And though we all would have preferred to never learn these “truths” in this way, we cannot deny them.  To me the most profound lesson revolves around the word “love”.

It is easy to say you “love” someone or something.  For instance I love chocolate cake.   I adore it so much, that in our home it is often used as a measure for the amount of love I feel.  My daughter has been hearing, since her forced entrance into this world, that I love her “more than chocolate cake.” My already unnatural love of cacao has been intensified due to this crazy diet that deprives me of my pastry passion.  But using the word “love” for cake, shoes, movies and band members (lots of teens in our house) has weakened the true meaning.  The actions of those around us have been a reminder of what the word “love” means. And yes, Massive Attack was right, the word “love” is a verb.  It is something you do. 

Awesome Mahl stick built by my brother

When you truly love, it is not easy.  It is a sacrifice: Of time. Of money. Of dreams. Of assumptions.  This sacrifice is made with a smile and a sense of being made whole instead of feeling as if you have left something behind.  There is no loss in the act of true love but we do not KNOW this until we experience it and stepping out to experience it takes great bravery. 

                                        Thank you for your bravery.

Friends and family, with no extra money, have given us money. My brother spent many hours late into the evening making an art tool (mahl stick) for Dan that is worthy of the Museo di Leonardo da Vinci in Florence. He has a full time job and two small children.  His wife, in turn, loved him and us by picking up the slack in their home to allow him time to build.  Many of Dan’s friends have demanding jobs that already require more time in the day than they can physically give.  They still showed up at the hospital and our home to spend time just talking, knowing the work would be double when they returned.  Family members dropped everything immediately while Dan was still in the emergency room and drove for over six hours just to be with us.  My sister got a cryptic call that said, “Dan is in the emergency room.  Please get Illiana (our daughter) and take care of her” Done.  No questions asked.  These are just a few examples of the “love” we experience every day.

 

The School of Cancer sucks.  The administration is unfair.  The bathrooms have no toilet paper and the lunches taste like crap.  At least we have good teachers…no we have GREAT teachers!  Thank you for teaching us the true definition of LOVE.  I would have preferred to learn this lesson in a little easier way but isn’t that how all students feel?

Rhonda